Ladies and Gentlemen of the Class of '99, wear
If I could offer you only one tip for the future,
sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of Sunscreen have
been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no
basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice ... now ...
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never
mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
until they fade, but trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at
photo's of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now, how
much possibility lay before you, and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know
that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation
by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to
be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that
blindsides you on 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts,
don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you recieve. Forget the
insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old loveletters. Throw away your old
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you
want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know,
didn't know at 22, what they wanted to do with thier lives. Some
of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of Calcium.
Be kind to your knee's, you'll miss them when
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken
on your 75th Wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, dont congratulate yourself too
much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance.
So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't
be afraid of it, or of what other people think of it. It's the
greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance. Even if you have no-where to do it but
in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only
make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when
they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link
to your past, and the people most likely to stick with you in
Understand that friends come and go, but with
a precious few, you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps
in geography and lifestyle. Because the older you get, the more
you'll need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before
it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you
Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will
rise, politicians will philander. You too will get old, and you
do, you'll fantacise that when you were young, prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe
you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse, but you
never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the
time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful who's advice you buy, but, be patient
with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing
it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off,
painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's
But trust me on the sunscreen.