Humour - Text Based
Uses for an AOL Disk
of these may make a little more sense if you remember that AOL
used to send out floppy disks, before the advent of CD's.
- Mini cutting board (great for the office or the car, use metal
door for knife).
- Attach it to a ruler and presto! - you've got a fly swatter.
- Construct a life size replica of Stonehenge.
- At a restaurant, shove one under a wobbling table leg.
- Money clip (use metal door and discard the plastic case...the
"rich nerd" look is IN this year).
- Eye patch (for one-eyed software pirates).
- Christmas ornaments (the more the merrier).
- Give them to young children to use as building blocks.
- Glue them to the bottom of the space shuttle and use them
as re-entry burn tiles.
- Dentures (melt & form them into new teeth for grandma).
- Room dividers for hamsters.
- Drink coasters.
- Use multiple disks to create an ideal door stopper.
- Ice scraper.
- Bathroom tile.
- Mini frisbee.
- Air hockey puck.
- Dog chew toy.
- Dart board.
- Pooper scooper.
- Grill scraper.
- Use them for karate board-breaking demonstrations (save a
- Wrist slicer - after receiving first AOL bill (use metal door).
- Conversation piece for coffee table.
- Destroy them - smash, burn, or run over to relieve stress.
- Light switch cover.
- Chinese throwing stars (tape 2 together).
- Clay pigeons for target practice.
- Greeting card (bind two together at one end).
- Halloween treat (give them away all night long).
- Bullet proof vest (arrange together in triple thickness).
- Bird house.
- Paper weights.
- Pen holders (make a box without a top).
- Post it-notes holder.
- Refrigerator magnet (glue a magnet to the back).
- A very sturdy base for putting the motorcycle sidestand on
when parking on soft surfaces.
- Keep 'em in the trunk for extra traction in the snow.
- Solar Eclipse Glasses (open door and look through disk at
the sun/moon -actually works).
- Placing one in each back pocket helps children who get paddled
by the coach. This spreads the force to a wider area.
- Make an AOL disk & pasta casserole.
- Incense burners (put stick in hole of disk hub and light the
- Bug Shield (glue a bunch to the front of your car's hood).
- Put them on car windshields at the mall (along with this list).
- Melt the plastic of the disks into a giant sculpture.
- Hand them out as party favors.
- Hidden/spare key holder (crack open 1 side, insert key and
then place near door. Completely safe...who would want an AOL
- Vertical blinds.
- Be an AOL diskette surgeon and disect a diskette.
- Bench press weights (I can press 120).
- Grind 'em up and refertilize the front lawn.
- The new "Domino's stuffed-crust pizza" filling.
- Tell the kids to leave warm milk & AOL disks for Santa.
- Brake shoes.
- House insulation.
- Recycle them for the scrap metal.
- Kitchen tile for Bill Gates' new mansion in Seatle (walk all
over the competition)
- Hockey Puck.
- Add water and special plant life to make a Chia-Disk.
- Noise maker for your bike spokes (why damage your valuable
- Put one on a leash and drag it along as you walk...makes the
- Poker chips.
- Baseball practice (throw them up in the air and hit them with
- Keychain (Put a key ring through one of the writeprotect holes
and you've got a snappy executive bathroom keychain for the
- Mail to 10 friends-start an AOL chain-letter (add a disk with
- Earmuffs (glue some fur on one side, then attach a U-shaped
piece of bent coathanger to both disks).
- Grind them up to make fake snow.
- Earrings (put loop into write-protect hole).
- Dental floss (use actual disk).
- Use them for zipper pulls (instead of ski lift tickets).
- When your collection of disks reaches 52, use them for a deck
- Use them to fill potholes.
- Hood ornament.
- Snow blower replacement blades.
- Put them in your shirt pocket to make you look smart.
- Make two stacks of 10 and use them as heels for platform shoes
- Rubic's cube case (make into box).
- Shipping material (keeps your photos from being bent in the
- Protect your table from burns caused by hot pots and pans.
- Snack trays (great for holding hors d'oeuvres at parties)
- Give them as stocking stuffers to all those people who piss
- Fly paper (use actual disk and put string through middle,
hang 2" apart and apply honey to disks).
- Pocket protector (gee Gilbert I really like your new pocket
protector -thanks Lewis).
- They make a addition to a #$+&% neighbour's back yard.
Better yet, get them to actually install it on their computer.
- Use them as elbow and knee pads.
- Wax scraper for snowboards.
- Use them to decorate your aquarium and create Computer City
- Tape a few together and use them as a mouse pad.
- Collect a large mass and detonate a supernova.
- A wind clacker (similar to a wind chime).
- Soap dish (remove metal to prevent rusting).
- Row markers for your vegetable garden. (carrots, beans, peas....)
- Makes the perfect dance floor for your ant colony.
- Bread roller (use actual disks and put rod through center
- use about 100).
- Hot glue gun resting/protecting pad.
- Baby mobile.
- Fence (may need a few thousand).
- Toe tags for mortuaries. Great for identifying dead computer
- Wonderbra inserts for that Madonna-techno look.