Humour - Text Based
are always giving lawyers a hard time, but do they deserve it?
far as I know, these are all true. And I saved the best for last...
Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
Q: Doctor, before you signed the death certificate, did you check
for a pulse?
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
Q: Did you check for breathing?
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
signed the certificate?
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. But now
that you mention it, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practising law somewhere.