Humour - Text Based
The
Evolution of Parenthood...
Yes, parenthood
changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby.
Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs
from having your first:
Your
Clothes |
1st
baby |
You begin
wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms
your pregnancy. |
2nd
baby |
You wear
your regular clothes for as long as possible. |
3rd
baby |
Your
maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. |
The
Baby's Name |
1st
baby |
You pore
over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing
combinations of all your favorites. |
2nd
baby |
Someone
has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right?
It might as well be you. |
3rd
baby |
You open
a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points. |
Preparing
for the Birth |
1st
baby |
You practice
your breathing religiously. |
2nd
baby |
You don't
bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing
didn't do a thing. |
3rd
baby |
You ask
for an epidural in your 8th month. |
The
Layette |
1st
baby |
You pre-wash
your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them
neatly in the baby's little bureau. |
2nd
baby |
You check
to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the
ones with the darkest stains. |
3rd
baby |
Boys
can wear pink, can't they? |
Worries
|
1st
baby |
At the
first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown - you pick up the
baby. |
2nd
baby |
You pick
the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. |
3rd
baby |
You teach
your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. |
Activities
|
1st
baby |
You take
your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story
Hour. |
2nd
baby |
You take
your infant to Baby Gymnastics. |
3rd
baby |
You take
your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. |
Going
Out |
1st
baby |
The first
time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. |
2nd
baby |
Just
before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number
where you can be reached. |
3rd
baby |
You leave
instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. |
At
Home |
1st
baby |
You spend
a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. |
2nd
baby |
You spend
a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't
squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. |
3rd
baby |
You spend
a little bit of every day hiding from the children. |
From
ABigBear, a regular in Dalnet's
England Channel
|