Humour - Text Based
- Nothing says I love you like a blowjob in the morning.
- Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
- Don't cut your hair. Ever.
- Don't make us guess.
- If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect
an answer you don't want to hear.
- Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
- Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of
the tides. Let it be.
- Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
- Anything you wear is fine. Really.
- You have enough clothes.
- You have too many shoes.
- Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect
us to like it.
- Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
your Dad probably is too.
- Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
- No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries
on a calendar.
- Share the bathroom.
- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
- A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
- Nothing says "I love you" like a blowjob in the
- Check your oil.
- Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
- Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one
of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
- Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know
how pretty you are?
- Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
- You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want
it done - not both.
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
- Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do
- Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right
to complain about having their boobs stared at.
- Nothing says "I love you" quite like a blowjob in
DISCLAIMER: The Above does not necessarily represent my personal
views, I just thought it was funny ;)