I have always claimed to be an equal-opportunities
abuser - and here's a little (probably overdue) man-bashing :D
One day my housework-challenged husband decided
to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry
room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing
machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does
it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world"
T the woman says, "I'll miss you."
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today,"
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do
you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've
wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea...you stand by
the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
He said - What have you been doing with all
the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
A: A rumor
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came
to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple
she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished
for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately
she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.......
Whoosh.... immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.