Humour - Text Based
Words Women Use
With thanks to Sarah, a wonderful friend.
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they
are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine"
to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one
of those arguments.
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that
your football game is going to last before you take out the trash,
so it's an even trade.
This means "something," and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a
woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and
backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that
will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
GO AHEAD(With Raised Eyebrows!)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset
over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
GO AHEAD(Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because
I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead"
in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine"
and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when
she cools off.
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks
you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting
her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe,
and she will stay content.
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can
make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to
think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is
that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with
the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some
mighty big trouble.
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you
the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have
for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance
with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's
A woman is thanking you. Do not! faint. Just say you're welcome.
THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say,
"Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you.
It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and
will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not
to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will
only tell you "Nothing"