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Humour - Text Based

The Perfect Day - For Him...

And for her

6.00 Alarm.
6.15 Blow Job.
6.30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section.
7.00 Breakfast: Bacon and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked, buxom wench.
7.30 Taxi Arrives.
7.45 Several Whiskeys en-route to airport.
8.15 Flight in personal business class.
9.30 Taxi to Riverside Oaks Golf Club (blow job en-route).
9.45 Play front nine (2 under).
11.45 Lunch: Pie Chips and gravy, 3 Lagers, and a bottle of Dom Perignon.
12.15 Blow Job.
12.30 Play back nine (4 under).
2.15 Taxi back to the airport (several whiskeys).
2.30 Fly to Monte-Carlo.
3.30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew.
4.30 Land world record marlin (1234lb) - on light tackle.
5.00 Fly home - massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson.
6.45 Shit, Shower, and Shave.
7.00 Watch news - Michael Jackson assassinated, marijuana and porn legalised.
7.30 Dinner: Lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon(1953), big juicy steak - followed by ice cream served on a pair of tits.
9.00 Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna Cigar in front of Wall-Sized TV.
9.30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies.
11.00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty Pizza Snacks, and a cleansing Ale.
11.30 Night-cap Blow Job.
11.45 In bed - alone.
11.50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 time, and forces the Dog to leave the room, then fall asleep giggling.